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Let’s be honest: life ain’t easy. Life is a constant challenge, and how we deal with each obstacle helps to teach us how to get past the next one. And sometimes we fail.

If you’re a regular reader here at Improv Lifestyle, you know that failure is a good thing. It allows us to grow, find out what works, and what doesn’t.  Failure is part of the life experiment: we hypothesize an outcome, and if it doesn’t come out the way we plan, we create a new hypothesis and try that one out.  Eventually, we’ll come to an outcome that works, and our success comes from trying again and again.

One of the hardest parts of failing is knowing that something you did didn’t work. That can be really hard to think about. Fears and thoughts come into our mind: “I’m not good enough, I didn’t do the right thing”.  This can lead to feeling bad about ourselves, and get into a “woe is me” mindset, which I like to call “playing the victim”.

Being a victim only has one goal: to get others to give you sympathy. But as much as we love and respect our friends, we cannot and shouldn’t count on them to be the sole ones to make us feel better. The only one who is going to feel better is yourself. So, when you’re down and out, reframe your situation.

Reframing works like this: look at a negative situation, which is riddled with failures and missteps, and find a way to put it into a positive light.

One of the most common reframes is this: “Well, at least I have my health”. That is usually one of the best reframes. It puts things into perspective.

Take a look at Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Each level represents a part of fulfillment. If you’re on a higher level, the ones below it don’t matter.  I offer this: make the lower levels of Maslow’s Hierarchy matter, and appreciate that you have them. If you don’t, take action to get them. Don’t just be a victim, sitting in inaction, get out and do something about your situation!

Here are my favorite reframes:

• I learned something valuable from event.
• I have food and shelter (the first level of Maslow’s Pyramid).
• I have friends who I can go have fun with.
• There are actions I can take right now to get out of this rut.
• What are the things that I should be smiling about?
• What do I have that others may not (can I help them?)
• The answers and successes are out there, all I have to do is put in the work to achieve them.

So go out there, fail, and find the positive parts of life!

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