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It’s taken me years to realize this, but there is an effective way to raise your status after being verbally insulted. The trap that I always fell into was trying to attack back. I realize now, that if you try to insult back, you’re not doing a “Yes, and”, but you’re saying “No”. Even though the offer is a negative one, I have found that it is beneficial to deflect the insult, rather than block it all together. Here are some simple ways to deflect an insult.

Before using these tactics, take a moment to think if you deserved what was coming to you. Perhaps the first tactic is an apology.

That aside, these tactics can help you maintain your status after an insult:

1. The Ultra-Yes-And: Take whatever is said about you, accept it, and amplify it. If someone calls you an idiot, take a moment and act like an complete idiot. This will contract the extreme with reality, and bring some humor to the situation.
2. The Librarian: This will show who has authority. After they insult you, make the “shhh” noise with your finger over your mouth. This act must be assertive, and not angry.
3. The Stare Down: After you are insulted, just look at the other person in the eyes, emotionless, and create an uncomfortable silence for them. You are in control of this silence. The grace moment will be when you end the silence by turning away.
4. The Hypnotist: bring your hand up about a foot away from your face, snap your fingers, and say “and, sleep” to the other person. Then turn away.
5. The Ignoramus: This is the one your mom might have taught you. If you are not looking at the person during the insult, keep looking away, and just ignore the person.
6. The Confident but Confused: After the insult, say “Really?” then look away. The inflection of your “really” should sound like part of the sentence “you’re really saying that?”.
7. The Verbatim: This one requires you to not look at the person you’re talking to. Say “I’m done listening to you now” and keep your focus away from the person.
8. The Yes-And-Done: If someone uses a question to insult you (ex: “are you really wearing that?”), simply say yes, then follow with silence.
9. The Lone Cowboy: Just walk away from the person. Separate yourself from them silently.

Got any other quick defenses? Let us know in the comments!

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